my son breaks out the "i don't want to get big," every so often. usually because he doesn't want to take a nap.
me: you have to sleep, it's when you grow
him: well i just won't grow.
nah, my problem is kids who want to grow faster than I'm ready for! My kids were always so serious and dour. Even my daughter, who tends towards the sillies, is all about being the boss and IN CHARGE. To my ever-loving annoyance.
Alex goes through the "I don't want to get big" every so often as well...
I figured out what the last time was about though... he has 2 big brothers... that have both moved out.... He was afraid he was going to get big and HAVE TO move out... but in his mind this was possibly going to happen after he learned to use the potty cause then he'd be BIG also..... Oh my poor lil'guy just thinks too much!
He also didn't want to get big when it meant giving up his suckie (pacifier).... I pointed out all the things that "babies don't get or don't get to do".... took a couple weeks but he's ok with 4yrs old now ;)
Edited at 2011-02-15 06:16 am (UTC)
When my son tells me that, I point out what he can't do if he doesn't grow up. He wants to go to regular school so bad, and if he doesn't turn five then he can't go.
I also point out that "babies" don't get to watch Ben 10, Power Rangers or play Wii.
He has a second cousin, who at 21 is the baby in his family. When Adam pointed out, that he is still the baby but he had to grow up to drive a dirt bike and four wheeler.
Lastly, I told him he could keep his blanket even if grew up. That seemed to pacify the most. My hubby and I joke that his bride will walk down the aisle with his blanket as a veil.
Kids will say more and more creepy things as they get older and exposed to more ideas and people. Just wait! I think often you have to think what's behind what my child is saying? Are they wrestling with some fear, repeating something they heard, or puzzled about something. You can always ask "Why are you saying that?" to see if you get anymore information, or you can always just be a good listener and just say "really?"
As far as not wanting to grow up, kids go back and forth on that. Don't we all? You can be supportive about them wanting to stay little, and just agree, or point out all the great things big kids get to do.
Regardless of what they say or you say, as long as you don't act upset, they won't remember it 15 minutes down the road and you'll be on to something else.
My three-year-old will draw me pictures and tell me they're so I can remember her when she dies. I tell her I could never, ever forget her.
I had to laugh. Our 7 year old says things that makes us pause a moment before we inwardly giggle at her "seriousness". Last week she told us that she hoped I died and went to heaven before her daddy. She wasn't being ugly in the least. She was just letting us know she wants to see us both in heaven one day and, besides, she's always been a daddy's girl. :)
Don't think anything of it when they come out with their little gems. Just be happy that you provide an enviroment where they can be totally honest with their feelings...both good and bad. :)
My daughter says similar things about not wanting to grow up and especially not wanting to leave home. She knows really that it's inevitable and we talk about the positives of being independent (messy room, as much TV as she wants etc).
I said she'll have to leave by the time she's thirty. But thinking about it I'll be 73 then and won't want her to go!
My 4.5-yo does this. "I don't want to grow up because I don't want to die." My husband says he was watching an episode of Caillou with her the other day that dealt with death and dying, and thinks it comes from that. Stupid TV.
My DD occasionally said things like that but it was because her father died and then about 7 months later her grandfather died.
I think the creepy things are easier to deal with when you have something concrete to pin it on.
I reckon it is something that 4 and 5-y-o's work through, eventually their thoughts are distracted and filled by other things, and finally they stop it. Still feels horrid at the time.
Hug him as much as he can stand it!
As much as I look forward to K growing up, part of me wishes she could stay little too. I try to recognize where she's at now and connect with her as much as I can at her level.