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i am in my first trimester with my second child and although i have a… - A baby? At my age? What was I thinking? [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
35+ Moms with new babies

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[May. 28th, 2010|12:00 am]
35+ Moms with new babies

oldermoms

[anoutlet]
i am in my first trimester with my second child and although i have a while before i even have to worry about labor i am already stressing about it.
for my first child i had to have an emergency c-section because i never dilated beyond 5cm after 36 hours. i really like the idea of trying a natural birth with the second child since no two births are the same and i could maybe deliver naturally.
the hang up is that there is no way to have a vbac in the community in which i live. this means i would have to take the then 3 year old with me to stay in a larger city for the last month of my pregnancy and hope that my huband was able to fly down in time for the birth of the baby. since the two closest cities would require flying with a newborn baby during the christmas holidays i am feeling very selfish for even thinking about this option.
that said i am wondering how many successful vbac do you know of since i only know of 1 in my area. most opt for staying in town and simply having another c-section. i am interested in hearing about personal experiences, both those that resulted in natural birth and those that might not have. also i want some feedback from some mamas out there....what would you do?
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[User Picture]From: cubes
2010-05-28 12:27 pm (UTC)
I had a similar but totally different situation when my twins were born. Their birth mother began having problems with premature labor at 28 weeks, and I went to stay with her, 500 miles from my home, because she had no other help to speak of. When the babies made their arrival a month later (2 months premature), I stayed there throughout their NICU time (just over 3 weeks).

When my youngest (our "bonus baby") was born just under a year later, I was fortunate to have a wonderful doctor and hospital just minutes from our house.

So, from that experience, here are a few thoughts to consider...

Is driving to the city in which you'll deliver an option (and then have your husband fly in for the birth and drive home with you)? I took our truck with me, my husband flew back and forth, and then we did the 500-mile trip home together after the twins were released from the NICU. I'd pick that over trying to fly with 2 kids any day -- it's longer, sure, but so easy to just pull off at a rest stop, or even on the side of the road, to feed, change, or soothe a fussy baby. We timed things to not have to stop overnight, but we had that as a backup if things got really bad.

On the flip side, also consider the risk of you and/or babe having complications of some kind and being that far from your home, husband, and support system. The time before my babies were born was difficult for a variety of reasons (and I wasn't even pregnant). The weeks that they were in the NICU was a long, lonely time for me, without family or friends nearby, sleeping in a strange bed, etc.

Sorry I can't offer more help on the VBAC issue. I did have a chat with my doc (who does VBAC, and is very natural-birth and low-intervention friendly, and who spends as long with his patients as they want or need, and does his own ultrasounds... and he's a *gasp* regular OB/GYN, and a man at that! :-) about it on behalf of a couple of friends, and he did say that of the women he sees who initially want to do VBAC, very few actually end up doing it -- not because of any complications, but because they opt for another c-section in the end (since induction is not an option)!
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[User Picture]From: anoutlet
2010-05-28 06:14 pm (UTC)
if there was any way to drive i don't think i would feel so stuck. but driving is kind of out of the question since it will be dead winter and i live in alaska in juneau with no roads in or out :)
i have considered the need for a support system which is why i would choose the city my family lives in, albeit much farther away.
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